Home > Life > Thoughts of a dying woman

Thoughts of a dying woman

What happens when life stops?

girl

When I can’t think through my responsibilities?
When the beauty of the ocean, as I know it, is gone?
When my children are looking through the glass at my lifeless body?

 

What goes through the minds of those I leave behind?
What are the things my soul will keep questioning about in death?
Why did it have to be me? Seven billion people in this world;
But somehow my number came up? Why not my evil neighbor?
Or the mean woman at the train station? Or the selfish milkman?
Why me? A loving parent, child and sibling?

 

What will happen to the people I love? What are they going through?
Is the agony in their faces honest? Will they find life difficult without me?
Will they move on too soon or will they take ages?
Will they take care of my children?
Will my children, in return, learn to appreciate that God planned it?
Or will they curse the day I died?

 

What about my friends? Will they suspect foul play?
Will they follow-up with the law?
Or will they settle to grumble among themselves?
Will they remember me or will I just be another walk-in who left?

 

What about my spouse? Does he regret those dark tough times we had?
Does he wish back the beautiful moments we shared?
Does he wish he could turn back time?
Then maybe he‘d help me avoid this tragedy?
Will he cry alone in the night calling out for me?
Will the pain in his heart be like the kind I will go through in death?
After how long will he re-marry?

 

What about heaven? Is it waiting for me?
Will Jesus be happy to see me? Will the Lord call me His child?
Will my tears be wiped away?
Will my struggle in this world pay off?
Will my mind be erased of all the pain I have gone through?
Will it be as beautiful as the stories my mama used to tell me?
Will my soul be at home or will I crave the people I have left behind?
Will I rest forever in the arms of my creator?

 

Lord there is so much I want to know…..
Help me understand.
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